poop

joydivsion:

a slug race is probably more exciting than my life

(via dietchola)

saddeer:

i love when people say my name when talking to me

(via queen-of-cunts)

wontonpoop:

so a guy cant even do bath salts without getting called a zombie what is this world coming to

(via funkies)

clairesawyer:

Dropping out of school to become a cheetah girl

(via teapayne)

julieruin:

my religion textbook said that sarcasm and irony are sins

(via fugrats)

chekhov:

An aunt on my mom’s side was a playboy playmate of the month, and I am the first in my family to reach over 1000 tumblr followers those are my family’s accomplishments

(via oprahsmom)

looking at myself: why

basedgosh:

which horny geologist named this mineral

(via oprahsmom)

iphone420:

There is so much paparazzi outside my house ugh why can’t I just live a normal life

(via fatggot)

infernallesbian:

when one of your favorite blogs likes a post you made

(via deadb1ogger)

[Flash 9 is required to listen to audio.]

Does he kiss your eyelids in the morning when you start to raise your head? And does he sing to you incessantly from the space between your bed and wall? Does he walk around all day at school with his feet inside your shoes, looking down every few steps to pretend he walks with you? Oh, does he know that place below your neck that is your favorite to be touched, and does he cry through broken sentences that I love you far too much?

(Source: thejdorsey, via anally)